I have this friend, Doug. He's a philosophy major turned refrigeration repair man (the big ones, like at Zehr's). He's 56 years old. I can't remember the first time I met him, but I used to work as a cook at the Albion and he has been a regular there for more years than I've been alive. Close enough. I've long since stopped working there but we still get together weekly to drink a few beers and talk about nothing. It's like Seinfeld but in Guelph and at a bar, not a cafe. My hair isn't quite as big as Julia Louis Dreyfus either. Anyway, we've been debating the word "random" for some time now. He claims "random" does not exist since everything is pre-ordained or chosen or reactionary or something. That's the philosophy major talking. I'm an English Lit grad so I say since the word is in the dictionary with a definition beside it, it exists. If we use the word and people understand its context, call it slang if you will, but it exists because it is there. I think, therefore I am sort of thing. He got into the mathematical theory of probability after that which lost me a little, especially if I'm onto my third pint, so I let it go until I could store up some ammo against him. My points are usually too conceptual compared to his need for proof in science and the physical world. But while I stand firmly planted in my belief in the word random, I don't take it for granted as much as I used to. I now try and use the word with more discretion. I'm sort of getting the concept that not everything is "random" in the way that I've used it before. If something is weird or funny it isn't necessarily random. However, I have proof that Robert Random, the human exists, so next time I see Doug I'm going to bring this picture along and hopefully the debate will end there.

This is Robert Random

*Picture sadly was asked to be taken down by the rightful owner of the photograph. Therefore, no visual proof of Robert Random is able to be displayed. He emailed me randomly the other day, asking me to kindly remove it.